Surfboard in the DEA museum

Check out the surfboard in the Drug Enforcement Agency museum


Surf Celebrity Look-alikes: Craig Anderson vs Blake Anderson

Holiday Travel and the Palm Beaches

Flying from West Palm Beach to Detroit, TurtleDragon is surrounded by kooks. They're everywhere, especially this time of year, staring at their phones and not moving out of the way; they're in South Florida to take--take advantage, take up space, take and take, and not make and not freeze. As he navigates the terminal, TurtleDragon wants to shoulder-check these entitled, seasonal, transplants. But checking needs to happen in West Palm, before The D--it's so cold there! Confederate flag and gold-toothed Floridiots get a pass, TurtleDragon knows better. And TurtleDragon is, in his core, a peaceful TurtleDragon, there will be no shoulder-checking.

West Palm is weird. It’s a surfless inland ghetto that shares a name and confusion with a nearby town. That town, Palm Beach, is not a ghetto and it has the best surf in front of Rush Limbaugh’s house. Donald Trump’s airplane is parked near the runway and he probably thinks everyone in coach a loser. Everyone in coach might agree; coach is for losers. But even TurtleDragon, seated in front of the losers, is also a loser this flight. Forced to stare at a greasy man bun in the seat in front, aggro thoughts return. Claws out and fire queued, TurtleDragon raises a paw, ready to swipe and burn the offending melon. But he holds back, remembers his peace, and thinks of the holiday season. The plane is off, making Trump a loser too, since most flights go right over his resort that occasionally has surf in front.